tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3658773213238268242024-03-13T23:56:34.156-07:00The WalkThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-69564390422818203292010-04-13T09:08:00.000-07:002010-04-13T09:28:38.259-07:00Life is StrangeMy uncle died a week ago, and I was there when he passed. In those moments you think it would be something if you were asked to attend you would decline. Somehow I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else. He was someone growing up that gave me a nickname "Laura Penny" and always made me welcome in his home. He came from a generation of men that started at one job and retired from that same job. He could rebuild an engine blind-folded. He was the kind of Grandpa that everytime he has the tractor out there was a kid on his lap. He never took a vacation without bringing the kids. <br /><br />My cousin, his daughter is three weeks younger than myself. We grew up like sisters. Our mothers would buy us matching outfits and we took dance class together. We were like sisters in that we had a love, hate relationship. We have always been there for each other and did nearly everything together growing up but sometimes we had time apart. It doesn't seem to matter the time apart, we have historty together and we are family. We can pick up where we left off and re-connect. I guess that is what family is. It is a very precious thing. <br /><br />It's been strangely difficult to see people lose parents that are my age. I think of my parents as always being there. It has brought a truth to me that I am really growing up. I probably should have figured that out sooner than 35. It is the little things like going to reunions and now we serve the food and its my kids playing with the little kids. It seems it wasn't too long ago that I was one giving the piggy-back rides sigh. <br /><br />This blog is probably all over the board but the passing of my uncle has impacted me in alot of ways on many levels. I thought I would share. It is better for me out than in.<br /><br />lwThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-79780602833911899572010-03-10T13:56:00.000-08:002010-03-10T14:22:25.840-08:00HopefulI am feeling hopeful lately. Hopeful about many things. I have been through a rough couple of years, in perspective to to my 35 years experience. I have struggled with my health, my marriage, my faith, my finances. Slowly one by one there seems to be clarity in each, not perfection, not easiness, or simpleness but clarity and answers. <br /><br />Its hard to give up on the dreams of a little girl that thought things could turn out like a fairy tale. Or the old saying if you work hard enough you can have anything. These sayings teach us nothing of contentment or human imperfection or unconditional love. They seem to keep us thinking to strive harder, work more for something that doesn't or may never exist. I am learning I can want something but I chose how discontent I will become if it doesn't go my way. Strangely enough this has given me peace and even made me more hopeful about the future than ever before. <br />I have found that I am trying to control the uncontrollable. <br /><br />There are things I could use more discipline with, money and food would be on the list for sure. I am not saying stop working hard or not to work at all, I am saying be careful what you feel entitled to based on the work. I have given alot more thought to what I spend time thinking about, and dwelling on and if it is fruitful. <br /><br />I have found myself very thankful for my Jesus, my husband, my boys, my family and friends. I am thankful we have found a church family again after wondering for awhile. <br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-4915179286509411642009-05-28T09:10:00.000-07:002009-05-28T09:39:14.636-07:00BetterI have been trying to decern, or compare some things in my own life. Is this thing better than this thing? Would this situation be better than this situation? Would God be more pleased with this or that? We all come to different crossroads for different reasons. I think some because of choices we have made good ones and bad. Others because of choices people close to us have made. <br /><br />I think we all prefer the crossroads that are the result of the good choices we have made, like we have saved alot of money and now we have to choose where to take our next vacation. How about finishing four long hard years of college and the choice of where to work. However we all find ourselves at crossroads that are the result of the good and the bad choices of ourselves and those around us.<br /><br />In every situation we have an opportunity to grow and learn. We have a chance for change. We also have a God that wants to show us who He is in it.<br /><br />I recently have been going through some tough choices and real changes and feeling like life is too hard. I think life is rough and stinky sometimes. I think it has real pain. <br /><br />But God's lovingkindness is better than life itself, so I will praise Him. That is what I read in psalms and it comforted me to remember God is even better than life itself. What I have in Jesus outdoes and overcomes anything this life has to throw at me, or what I think I could mess up in life. <br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-79974659625670569012009-03-23T11:36:00.000-07:002009-03-23T11:53:58.698-07:00What is my hope in?I wrote my last blog about hope, and I was very confident that my hope was in Christ and the work He was doing and going to do. It was the day before my Husband was leaving for some intense counseling, counseling I believed would change our life forever. <br /><br />Two days after that journal my hope was crushed because my Husband not God was not behaving how I wanted, or expected, I guess you could say hoped?! I found out very quickly I was hoping a little in God and alot in Chris. This left room for a wound that I thought was unrepairable. I have to say here I drove by a church the very day I was telling myself and anyone who would listen to me my wounds are too deep..this sign said "God doesn't waste a wound"! If this is not God himself saying hope in me I know wounds, I was wounded to the point of death for you. I will admit I was stubborn and kept talking about how Chris had let me down and I was sure it was unrepairable this time, all hope was lost.<br /><br />I pressed a little further into Christ and His word instead of what I wanted to do which was run screaming through the streets, but I will admit I did tell about anyone who would listen on that day that I had been wronged big time and that I was mad as could be. I found this piece of scripture "It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in men. It is better to take refuge in him than in the mightiest king!" Psalm 118:8-9. This hit me over the head my hope and confidence was in what Chris could do, or accomplish and if he failed then my hope would be lost even my hope in Christ! I began to pray that God would do a miracle in my heart and that I would put my confidence in Christ only. <br /><br />I have found so much freedom in knowing my joy is not based on Chris' performance, or if my marriage succeeds. My joy is in Christ only, my hope is in Christ only. God wants great things for my life if I will seek Him with my whole heart trusting that He will add everything else, then I will be free.<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-15379025019876082982009-03-08T19:05:00.000-07:002009-03-08T19:27:18.459-07:00HopeHope is a curious thing isn't it really. I find that it is at least. I will purpose in my heart to have it, and know with mind that you only find it in Christ and the next thing I know something in my circumstance will just make me have overwhelming feelings of gloom and doom. You know pure hopelessness. It will take me a moment to snap out of it and realize as his children we will overcome this world. I have to tell myself that I will overcome this world. Whatever it can throw at me. Whatever preconceived idea I had that God would do, or not let happen. I have to choose not only to praise Him but not lose hope about who God is and what He promised to do. <br /><br />I am realizing more and more. God's word is full of families that struggled with sin and trouble. God actually promised us trouble and trials. We spend most of our days trying to get to a place of heaven on earth. A place where there is no hurt or trouble and there is always peace. I want to spend my days hungering for more Jesus, and His character. Then when the trouble comes I will be able to withstand it. I will bring glory to Him and maybe there will be others that come to heaven because of it. I truly want the time it takes for me to get from the hopeless place to my knees to become less. I don't really want to look like life doesn't hurt me and that I am without feelings, how will I testify of a God that outstretched His arms to die for those who had no way to save themselves, if I look like I am without emotions. I just want to always see my God in the midst of every trial. Please God give me those eyes.<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-90749566511261724512009-02-10T07:37:00.000-08:002009-02-10T07:52:58.426-08:00Guard your HeartAs I am walking through the toughest time of my 33 years I am finding my thought life to be the hardest thing to bring under control. I am sure that there are days it does not bring God any glory at all. <br /><br />I was at church on Sunday and the sermon was about our natural bent what our inclinations are and we are bent toward sin. We don't have to live it out but we have to understand the war that is in us and the God that died for the victory over it!! I can live by the spirit today or the flesh. <br /><br />If I am being honest there have been more days when my thoughts are that of something like this "nothing is ever going to change", "I am so tired of this", "whatever", "so what", "blah, blah, blah", "keep talking no one wants to hear your mouth", "I don't care if this even works out"!! I am sure these thoughts are not from God and though I am not beating myself up for being hurt or sad. What I am saying dwelling on thoughts like these gives satan a foothold in my heart. This foothold let's him destroy not just me by me leaving hopeless, but it destroys others around me. Have you ever been trying to change and seek God with someone in you ear telling you, whatever, you can't do this, I don't care if you do! <br /><br />I had a dear friend in Christ say to if these thoughts are not from Christ you need to guard your heart! It probably doesn't sound like a big deal but this is a huge deal this is how families are being destoyed and God's glory is being lost. Isn't that our purpose for being here?? To bring God glory....<br /><br />Man I don't want to miss it being part of this glory, being an avenue for His glory. I am also certain everything in satan's path is destruction.<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-3280288189417643512009-01-23T06:28:00.000-08:002009-01-23T06:56:46.060-08:00Falling into JesusKnowing who I am and who created me helps me know where to fall everytime. I am going through the biggest struggle of my 33 nearly 34 years. I don't pretend that I have seen the worst thing or by far know everything. I am just learning where to fall. <br /><br />This past month I have had my life partner truly break my heart, come to realization that financially we have hit rock bottom for the second time, and been lost and are wondering without a church home. I most of which I am responsible for or at least played a huge part in. It still left me free falling into a pit of despair. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry until well until forever. I realized as I cried and sometimes screamed I was crying and screaming to Jesus. I knew I wasn't alone. I was hurting, I was broken, I was even crushed, but not left alone. I knew he was listening to all that I was saying and all I didn't say.<br /><br />I am airing my dirty laundry not because I am hoping yours gets dirty but because I know my God is helping me wash mine. I know God never left me, I know I fell straight into his arms. I also know I am not alone in the hurting. <br /><br />I grew up with sayings like "God will never give us more than we can handle" and "God helps those that help themselves" and while they are great I think they cripple us from the truth. The truth is that we have more than we can handle all the time and if we could help ourselves there would be no need for God's intervention. Those sayings are peoples way of leaving God out and putting people in. The truth is His word says He will give you a way out, not you will make a way out. It is also true we must work out what He is working in, but let me you tell it is God that is working within before you will work it out. God will not share His glory. <br /><br />I found that I thought that I was far from God and that was only mental positioning. I can tell you in my fall it was as though He was breathing in my face, holding me. I just want to encourage you whatever is going on in your life God already knows about it, He made you! He wants to work in you so you can work it out, for His glory in every situation and circumstance. <br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-52843108995263014682009-01-15T08:45:00.000-08:002009-01-15T08:57:21.761-08:00transparencyIf we would just be transparent that we don't have it all together. If we could all truly tell the truth about our hurts and needs, I think we could better bear each others burdens. I also am convinced that we could testify more effectively of Christ in us. His abilitly to save, comfort, and heal. <br /><br />I think everytime we say we are okay when we aren't or give God credit for something we truly haven't even begun to let him work out in our lives we lie. We lie to ourselves, we lie to others and we are not giving God any glory because our life lived out will show itself to me less than honorable, less than glorifying to His name.<br /><br />I ache for God in all the places of my heart and life. I don't want to just pretend He is there and then try to workup the appearance that He is. This is my prayer and I know I am far from this place right now. <br /><br />I will coninue to ask for God's help to press through this to victory in Him.<br /><br />Eph 3:16-18<br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-4345588195654829102009-01-13T07:52:00.001-08:002009-01-13T08:16:46.633-08:00Why?This question is on my mind it seems daily. Well it is on mind hourly it seems this past month. Why? I am trying to understand why me? Why now? Why would someone else make the choices they did. I guess I won't have the answers. I want them so badly, so bad I will claw at them. I will read another book, I will ask another question without answers. I will pray prayers that I know God can't answer. Then I do the really silly thing I ask myself why are you doing this? It would be funny if it weren't so awful.<br /><br />I always hate to say this is the worst thing because I know there is worse. I know I have beautiful blessings in my life everyday. I have three wonderful children. I have food in my kitchen everyday. I have parents and a sister. I have a God who is sovereign and saved me from hell and even myself. <br /><br />Then I get back to the why..then why does it hurt so bad? Why am I having such a hard time with this? Shouldn't it be easier, shouldn't I be better at forgiving with all my God has done for me?? Am I the only one or am I the only one talking about it? Why do people act so Christian and they have it all together or maybe they do and I don't??!! <br /><br />Well I have blabbered on but this has to go somewhere<br /><br />Eph3:14-18<br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-53303240792939707022009-01-09T06:30:00.000-08:002009-01-09T06:46:29.135-08:00what do you do when it hurts to much?I keep asking myself how do I move or breathe or even get up for another day when I feel so broken in a million pieces. Then at the next moment I ask myself, what are you being so silly for, get up move on what are you being broken and hurt for? Just the swinging back and forth is enough to make you feel insane. Somehow in the midst of this all I know my God is walking with me. I am sure that when no one knows my pain he can not just see it but understand every bit of it. Right now that comforts me to know I am understood, I am seen. More than that my pain is understood and seen. <br /><br />I guess for the future I want to be able to think of day when it won't hurt like this. I want to be able to think of a day when my relationship with God is restored fully and my marriage is restored. I am beginning to think it is possible. I know that it is possible somewhere in my heart, I could read it, I could probably even tell my friend but it escapes my scope when I think of it in my future. <br /><br />I should say I am certain without Christ this would unbearable. I need to act on my belief that God is bigger than any circumstance that could ever come. I need to cling to Jesus in this storm. <br /><br />clingingThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-63592297876563036072009-01-07T08:02:00.000-08:002009-01-15T09:03:51.524-08:00Man when you're wrong you're wrongI love to be right and hate to be hurt. I love for things to go well too. I love when my family and marriage is all packed in a nice package. I guess I like it so well I will lie to myself. I like it so well I will squeeze God out to have it. I will arrange all my feelings to have it. I will apologize for hurt feelings and just plain turn into someone else to get it. The reality that life has spun so far out of control so you could keep it looking somewhat like you wanted it to, really just sucks pardon my french.<br /><br />I am truly terrified someone will hurt me and I won't like it so I just tell myself, it didn't hurt or they can't hurt me. Or other really interesting things "christian" things like God loves me, so they can't bother me, which is my favorite. So when my marriage is a total wreck and I am dieing inside. I am smiling the whole time saying it doesn't hurt when my life partner has been dishonest with me for years, it can't hurt me because God loves me. At some point I realize what a liar I am to myself, how prideful I am. I am so worried about me, about God being who I want, about my family looking how I want. I won't even admit to myself that I am hurting. That lies hurt, broken promises hurt. I won't admit God isn't even the puppet master in heaven controlling people to make them like I want, he isn't a waiter that gets me what I want or makes my life beautiful and happy everyday.<br /><br />I am just realizing that it is only in truth that healing can ever happen. I have to tell myself the truth. The truth about who God is. The truth about who I am. The truth about who my Husband is...and who all those people can be to me. <br /><br />I will be honest it has been and still is like a death to me. I am mourning the loss of the things that will never be, because of who I can't even be to myself, but also who God and Chris can't be to or for me. I am sad to say my expectations were high, and not even real but they were real to me. I had been developing them and thinking on them since I was a little girl so this has been a very difficult time of loss for me. <br /><br />I am trying to grow in my understanding who God is not what I want Him to be. I want Eph3:17-18 "Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is."The Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-80797327533854469432008-12-08T08:31:00.000-08:002008-12-08T09:03:18.293-08:00ChangeI just wanted to share a testimony of how God spoke to me when I was confused and being stubborn. This is something I really needed to hear. I have alot of things I feel like NEED to happen. Alot of things that NEED to be done a certain way. When they don't I get really flustered and overwhelmed. I am not as good at being calm about it when I am sick. <br /><br />I got this really big thump on the head from God that I don't NEED to do my work in peoples lives but I NEED to let Him do His work. Then I would be alot less flustered because then everything wouldn't be up to me. Life is not really people becoming what I think God wants them to be. It's about me hearing from God for my life. If I would spend more time encouraging the accomplishments I see rather than the things I wish people could be(including myself) I am sure it would be more pleasing to God. Everyone gets more done with encouragment than with nagging. I beleive His word says spur each other to good works. <br /><br />I want to become a wife that nags less and encourages more. I want to be the wife that notices the little things my husband does everyday to be the man God is asking. I want to be the mother that spurs my children to good works. This is my prayer to get off my agenda and onto God's.<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-89047856551479774012008-11-24T06:17:00.000-08:002008-11-24T06:40:09.874-08:00ThankfulnessI have been given a challenge and I want to pass it on to others. This time of year when we are just covered in commercials with Thanksgiving sales and turkeys, I am afraid we have forgotten to be thankful. I am talking about the act of being thankful, to actually act it out not just sit together at a table and eat food or make plans for another year with the family. I am having a year that I see God moving in my heart and life to remind me "look around Laura at all I provided in friends, family, food, and love." I have fallen short to be thankful, not just to God, but to actually say these words to others so they will know what they mean to me. <br /><br />There are so many people that pour there lives out for Christ and refuse to be thanked, but I believe we can thank them on God's behalf. We need to thank them for their surrender to His will. We can all think of how someones surrendered life has changed or impacted ours in some way. <br /><br />I am going to give a minimum of 30 minutes to actively being thankful this Thanksgiving. I am going to be specific with at least one person about what am thankful for in how they impact my life. I am also going to start a tradition in my family of thankfulness this year. This was the challenge I was given, I believe in passing on a good challenge. Maybe this will be a truly thankful Thanksgiving :)<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-51208004566740955982008-08-16T21:17:00.000-07:002008-08-16T21:35:27.326-07:00RelationshipThis is something that has been really pressing on my heart for some time now. Can I or anyone for that matter really make a difference in someone elses life without a relationship? <br /><br />I guess the answer is yes and no. I hate and love hard questions, questions that us make think. Questions that drive us to our knees in prayer, for ourselves and others. <br /><br />The yes, I think is someone I have never met could do something heroic or very giving, or sacrificial and that may change the course of my life forever IF I hear about it. It could also change my life if it effects my life in some way even if I have never met them. Therefore I can with my choices change lives without even knowing that person. <br /><br /><br />The no I believe is someone cannot make lasting change in anyone including their own personal lives without relationship. That relationship I believe is with Christ and it isn't how much we know about him or have read, even in our bible or have heard from a friend. I believe it's how much what we read, and know and have heard from a friend caused real changes in our life. <br /><br />I want to be changed by my relationship with Jesus! I want to cause changes around me because of my relationship with Jesus! I am so very thankful for a God who loved me so much that he changed my life forever and he continues to work in me every single day!<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-79221040353728860742008-07-28T09:34:00.000-07:002008-07-28T09:55:38.564-07:00Grace Makes Life Not FairWhat? Surely I don't mean that, but I do. This has been echoing in my head for a couple of weeks now. I have a paper route and I often listen to my favorite music while delivering in the middle of the night. Most times, I have it on and it serves merely as background music to disrupt the monotony of driving my route, sometimes it is more than that. Recently as I was listening, I heard the lyrics "but the beauty of grace is, it makes life not fair." I was kind of awestruck at first--"did I really hear that right?" Then, as the meaning of those words sank in, I was again awestruck, but because of the truth disclosed in that phrase. <br /><br />God's grace is not an easy thing for us to grasp. An almighty, omnipotent, omniscient, infinite God, who created the universe, also sent His son to die a sinner's death for me. This is a concept that is far beyond the reaches of my mind, and I have relinquished all efforts to understand it. You may be wondering, "how does grace make life not fair?" It's kind of like this, through the death of Jesus you can have eternal life with the God that created the universe, and all you have to do is say yes to Jesus--He paid your sin debt. Is that fair? The answer of course is no, we are free to accept something that we have neither earned, nor deserve. Isn't that what fair is, getting what you deserve? <br /><br />There is more to come on grace, but for now, I am going to leave this here, I don't want what I deserve. I want to remain wrapped in the grace that was freely given by God to all who call on and accept the salvation that comes only through the redeeming death of Christ's crucifixion.<br /><br />-cw<br /><br />BTW, the song is "Be My Escape" on the Mmhmm album by Relient K<br /><br />-cwThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-7197630600609167162008-07-26T11:14:00.000-07:002008-07-26T11:27:47.754-07:00Who I want to beThere are only a few people we meet in life that truly change us forever. They change our walk with Christ for the better and make us want more of Jesus. They humble us without accusing us of anything. I have met someone like this and it makes me want to be that person to other people. <br /><br />I want to make Jesus my only pursuit and I want it to be obvious in my words and my home. I want it to be obvious in what say and what I don't say. I want it to be obvious in what I hold dear and what I let go of in life. <br /><br />I have recently been so blessed it brought tears to my eyes. It showed God's love in action in many people and I believe it will have an impact on eternity. It urged me to good works for Christ, it caused me to be more passionate for Jesus. It amazed me. I truly stood in awe of a awesome God. <br /><br />I know few people that let Christ work through them to His fullest potential! I am not one them. But I know one and I want to be one with all of my heart. I pray God will use my life. I pray I live a surrendered life. I pray I will mean it.<br /><br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-25703565247838765072008-07-16T09:35:00.000-07:002008-07-16T10:08:01.843-07:00What is Truly Awesome?Lately my family and I have been in what you might call a slump. It feels kind of like we are all standing around looking for God, wondering where He is. It is through this time that I have come to a stunning realization. The thing that we long to have, the thing that compels us forward and keeps us going is something that we have long believed to be found in the church (read as church-building.) This could not be further from the truth.<br /><br />We had been involved in a church plant several years ago that was a truly awesome experience, and through it we learned more than most church-goers might learn in several decades of attending church. I do not say this to brag or to make more of us than we are, just to illustrate the point that God was there--and was really making a difference in people's lives. The plant lasted for about five years when it ended in miserable failure. Truths were revealed that cut deeply, and we were left standing around confused, frustrated, angry, and asking God "How did this happen?" The sting of this has haunted us for many years, and has been a large factor in our involvement in church and how close we will let people get to us.<br /><br />What we have learned from all of this is that we have expectations, and that we put those expectations off on God and think that He is in some way obligated to fulfill them. Reality check folks, God does His thing and has no obligations of the sort to maintain for us. The first thing that we needed to admit is that we really thought that God let us down. He didn't. Job lost way more than we did when God allowed Satan to put the screws to him, and he never felt that God owed him anything. We also needed to realize that although we met in a church building, it was really, truly, only God working in the lives of the people there that compelled us forward and gave us the strength to carry on. We didn't do anything special there, we were just real people with real problems, seeking after and serving a real God. It says in the Psalms that "our God is in Heaven and He does as He pleases." It is not for us to understand God or even try to, (I don't want to have a God that I can understand.) What we do need to understand is that God is in His people, and living out our lives in service to Him and helping strengthen His people, is what the "church" should be doing.<br /><br />I have said all of this to say that I have seen a miserable failure become the de facto standard that I have been measuring all other churches against, and that is exactly what I need to be doing. It was in this miserable failure that I have seen the truest manifestation of God in a body of believers, ever, period. Despite the hand of man doing it's best to mess it up, God has shown me what it is that I need to be doing. That is the answer to the question "what is truly awesome?" Seeing God take something that I have labeled as a failure and showing me the success in it is truly awesome. That is the God that I serve, one that can make awesome out of utter disaster.<br /><br />-cwThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-36905391679958427732008-07-09T20:21:00.000-07:002008-07-09T20:36:33.516-07:00Have we hit a snag?!?Lately it seems we want so badly to get on track financialy and we have the tools but we are not applying them. We are just using the "head in the sand technique". I don't even want to know how bad it is. This is showing a lack of faith in God's ability to work in our life. <br /><br />I am sure this is a snag and a valley! I know this will pass not because we are doing nothing but because we will start doing what God has called us to do. It is time to stop dwelling on the past and start putting energy into what changes can be made and make them. <br /><br />It is so true we spend alot of time trying to get forgiven for something that the Lord has forgiven long ago and it keeps us stuck. We need to stay current. We need to keep our joy and be obedient to Christ in all things, through His strength. <br /><br />I am so thankful for a savior that is faithful in all things, and through all things. I am grateful for loving family and friends in Christ who are praying us through and by God's leading have helped us through when we were in trouble. Please continue to pray with us through this struggle in our life, as we want victory.<br /><br />In Christ,<br />LWThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-50520445692478036762008-05-29T07:09:00.000-07:002008-05-29T07:40:05.579-07:00What do you say about Christ?I was reading today and it smacked me in the face that we tell people who Christ is everyday. I think we think we do this with our mouths but I have to very respectfully disagree. People are looking at everything that comes out of our lives in our actions. When we say we know Christ. <br /><br />I will go further and say if our life is unloving and judgemental or even a life with rules to follow to get to heaven. People will not be drawn to Christ! They are already failing now at life with those things in it. If we could work our way to heaven then Christ would have had nothing to die for! As Christians we need to live like we know Christ is the only way to heaven. We need make sure all the things we do are not to get points in heaven but they are driven by God. He loves us all the way, all the time and all the same. <br /><br />I have been continually challenged to live this way. I am convinced this will draw people to Christ. This represents Christ in us not religion at work. People want the real thing. I have found the painful truth is I like to do it my way and I like things done fast. This walk with Christ is a process and it is done His way. The biggest reason I believe we should want to live with Christ in us, without religion is religion leads people astray and Christ draws people to the truth.The Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-58055669222214092682008-05-23T13:54:00.000-07:002008-05-23T14:09:34.004-07:00In Awe of God's ProvisionI find myself overwhelmed when I consider how God has provided for me. He has provided for me in many ways, and I am thankful for them all, but today I am truly in awe of the wife that He has given me. A spouse is someone that is so easily taken for granted, much to the shame of us all. I have been blessed with a woman that has seen me through some of the darkest hours of my life, but has been with me in triumph as well. She fills in my blank spots in more ways than I could communicate to anyone.<br /><br /> Tonight we are going to a wedding. One of the young men that was in my youth group many years ago is getting married to the woman that God has picked for him. It absolutely blows me away when I think about how God brings a man and a woman together like two puzzle pieces that fit together exactly to complete a masterpiece that only God could create. I pray that my friend will never forget the gift that is being given to him today by God, and that their marriage will grow stronger every day, through the hard times and the easy times, I know that mine has.<br /><br /> I thank you God for my wife, and all that she brings to my life. I pray that you will bless the marriage of our friend, as you have blessed ours.<br /><br />-cwThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-65765197320186610142008-05-15T19:43:00.000-07:002008-05-15T19:55:45.493-07:00Who doesn't need grace?I have been in many conversations lately and I keep being reminded that I don't know a single person who doesn't need grace. I think sometimes we forget when we are complaining or when we are unhappy with something that all of us are in need of grace. Even bigger than our need is that without Christ we would not have grace in our own life. Grace is truly amazing. When we really take time to really soak it in and dwell on it. <br /><br />I sometimes feel entitled to justice and restoration. I know I can offer grace because Christ gave it to me and the rest is in His hands.<br /><br />Thank you Jesus for your grace at work everyday in my life!The Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-1055435218778060652008-05-09T08:39:00.000-07:002008-05-09T09:01:38.392-07:00I can't get no satisfactionThis title is a bit of a misnomer as it relates to what I am feeling lately, but it does accurately depict the feelings that have been rattling around inside me for some time.<br /><br /> I have recently started a second job in an effort to improve our financial situation here at home. It has been a struggle to get over the hump of it and finally settle into the thankfulness to God for providing this opportunity to me. You see, it was only after I had begun this job that I realized how truly unsatisfied I had been with my performance as the family's "provider." I have worked at the same place for ten and a half years and have convinced myself that my income there is enough-despite the fact that the evidence lay before me in unopened envelopes, blatantly telling me otherwise. I had finally succeeded in lying to myself enough, and believed that everything was cool, much to my chagrin.<br /><br /> Over the past week, through half-opened eyelids, and hours of sleep dwindling to what feels like near-nothing, I have realized the satisfaction of providing for my family, a feeling that I had cheapened and cheapened over the years until I finally succumbed to the shell of satisfaction I had created in my mind. I praise God today for providing this opportunity to me; for showing me what real satisfaction feels like, and for giving me the strength to take on this load. It is only through His strength that I am able to achieve this awesome feeling. There is a long road ahead of me, but I know that God has given me this opportunity, and He will see me through.<br /><br />-cwThe Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-365877321323826824.post-52498726409745373962008-05-06T10:33:00.000-07:002008-05-06T10:55:42.405-07:00Tips and To Do ListsI have been realizing lately because of this thing called facebook that all people go through shared struggles and the answers to those struggles are the same. A tip from a friend or well organized to do list is great for so long but we all realize fast we are just getting by. We are not growing closer to Christ and in a moment anything can derail even the best planned list.<br /><br />My own life this past year has thrown more curve balls than I could plan for. I think with things that are not planned for we need to draw closer to the God that knows everything not keep trying to scratch out and revise our to do list. I find it harder to make time for my relationship with Jesus in the busy confusing times of life and then life get busier and more confusing. I am beginning to think there is a connection between the two. <br /><br />The point would be pursue with all your heart a authentic relationship with Jesus and throw away the to do lists. They will only bog you down and take you away from the one who is never surprised by the things that come up in life.The Walkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04655544247481718284noreply@blogger.com0