Wednesday, March 10, 2010


I am feeling hopeful lately. Hopeful about many things. I have been through a rough couple of years, in perspective to to my 35 years experience. I have struggled with my health, my marriage, my faith, my finances. Slowly one by one there seems to be clarity in each, not perfection, not easiness, or simpleness but clarity and answers.

Its hard to give up on the dreams of a little girl that thought things could turn out like a fairy tale. Or the old saying if you work hard enough you can have anything. These sayings teach us nothing of contentment or human imperfection or unconditional love. They seem to keep us thinking to strive harder, work more for something that doesn't or may never exist. I am learning I can want something but I chose how discontent I will become if it doesn't go my way. Strangely enough this has given me peace and even made me more hopeful about the future than ever before.
I have found that I am trying to control the uncontrollable.

There are things I could use more discipline with, money and food would be on the list for sure. I am not saying stop working hard or not to work at all, I am saying be careful what you feel entitled to based on the work. I have given alot more thought to what I spend time thinking about, and dwelling on and if it is fruitful.

I have found myself very thankful for my Jesus, my husband, my boys, my family and friends. I am thankful we have found a church family again after wondering for awhile.


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