Monday, March 23, 2009

What is my hope in?

I wrote my last blog about hope, and I was very confident that my hope was in Christ and the work He was doing and going to do. It was the day before my Husband was leaving for some intense counseling, counseling I believed would change our life forever.

Two days after that journal my hope was crushed because my Husband not God was not behaving how I wanted, or expected, I guess you could say hoped?! I found out very quickly I was hoping a little in God and alot in Chris. This left room for a wound that I thought was unrepairable. I have to say here I drove by a church the very day I was telling myself and anyone who would listen to me my wounds are too deep..this sign said "God doesn't waste a wound"! If this is not God himself saying hope in me I know wounds, I was wounded to the point of death for you. I will admit I was stubborn and kept talking about how Chris had let me down and I was sure it was unrepairable this time, all hope was lost.

I pressed a little further into Christ and His word instead of what I wanted to do which was run screaming through the streets, but I will admit I did tell about anyone who would listen on that day that I had been wronged big time and that I was mad as could be. I found this piece of scripture "It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in men. It is better to take refuge in him than in the mightiest king!" Psalm 118:8-9. This hit me over the head my hope and confidence was in what Chris could do, or accomplish and if he failed then my hope would be lost even my hope in Christ! I began to pray that God would do a miracle in my heart and that I would put my confidence in Christ only.

I have found so much freedom in knowing my joy is not based on Chris' performance, or if my marriage succeeds. My joy is in Christ only, my hope is in Christ only. God wants great things for my life if I will seek Him with my whole heart trusting that He will add everything else, then I will be free.


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