what do you do when it hurts to much?

I keep asking myself how do I move or breathe or even get up for another day when I feel so broken in a million pieces. Then at the next moment I ask myself, what are you being so silly for, get up move on what are you being broken and hurt for? Just the swinging back and forth is enough to make you feel insane. Somehow in the midst of this all I know my God is walking with me. I am sure that when no one knows my pain he can not just see it but understand every bit of it. Right now that comforts me to know I am understood, I am seen. More than that my pain is understood and seen.

I guess for the future I want to be able to think of day when it won't hurt like this. I want to be able to think of a day when my relationship with God is restored fully and my marriage is restored. I am beginning to think it is possible. I know that it is possible somewhere in my heart, I could read it, I could probably even tell my friend but it escapes my scope when I think of it in my future.

I should say I am certain without Christ this would unbearable. I need to act on my belief that God is bigger than any circumstance that could ever come. I need to cling to Jesus in this storm.

clinging